I’ve noticed that some of my coaching clients have already written down their resolutions for 2016. These are usually people who managed to keep their resolutions for this year too. Research says about 45% of us make resolutions but 54% of us will give up within six months. Just 8% actually succeed by the end of the year. There’s a difference between a Wish and a Resolution. Three actually: a clear goal, a plan to achieve it and willpower. Here’s how to stick to your New Year pledge:
#1 Make only one and make it a big one
Ditch the plural and stick to one resolution. Instead of rolling out the same wish-list each year, pick the one change that is most important to you. Most of us have so many competing priorities that we lose our sense of focus. Use Pareto’s rule that 80% of our desired outcomes comes from just 20% of our activities and work backwards from there. What is the end result you most want to see and how do you need to focus your time and energy to get it? What are the specific actions you need to take to make it happen?
The busy run up to the holiday season exposes our vulnerabilities. You know what needs to change and will probably have more clarity now then you will on 31 December. Now is a good time to get ahead and decide what changes you need to make.
Fantasise about how your life will improve if you achieve what you set out to do. One reason why we don’t achieve our resolutions is that we really aren’t bothered about them. They need to be what we REALLY want to do, not what we feel we should do (perhaps to please others).
Don’t dwell on the negative things that could happen if you don’t change. Focus on the positive things that will happen when you do. Form a mental image of this because visualising your goals is proven to accelerate your progress towards them. I’ve seen people achieve absurdly high career goals. In order to to do this you first have to have absurdly high career goals (most of us don’t), then you need to take single-minded action into achieving them, every single day.
Your actual resolution should be the new habit or behaviour change you need to adopt. (‘I will leave the office every Wednesday at 5’, not ‘I want better work/life balance’). By the end of the year you will perform this habit without having to think about it.
#2 Chunk it up
Write it down, keeping it short and simple of course. Break your resolution down into logical, achievable steps: turn it into a plan. You won’t get better at something just because you want to. Hope is not a plan; a scheduled action is. ‘I must be more mindful’ doesn’t work, ‘I will switch off emails between 10 and 12 every day in order to focus on what’s important’ does.
Put milestones in your diary or phone to chart your progress. There’s bound to be an app to help you. The act of working towards a goal, one step at a time, is what keeps us motivated. The more you monitor your progress, the better you’ll be at sticking to your plan. Share it with people who will support you. Support them too: people who share their goals are one third more successful than those that don’t. Get a coach! If possible, remove negative influences.
Having just one ‘all or nothing’ goal is overwhelming and we can end up feeling even worse about ourselves when old habits slip back. An ‘I’ve eaten one biscuit so I might as well eat the whole packet’ response. Failure along the way is inevitable. It’s not the extent of the change that ultimately matters, but the act of correcting our course and making small changes one step at a time. Start again tomorrow. Taking control, dealing with failures and getting back on track builds resilience.
#3 Grow your willpower
You are motivated to change. You have one important resolution broken down into a plan. What could go wrong? The crucial variable is you and your willpower, your drive to achieve.
There’s been some fascinating research in this area. Willpower and intelligence have been shown to be the two traits that make the most difference to people’s lives. Willpower varies from person to person and is a co-production of both genetics and our early childhood experiences.
It’s difficult to make lasting improvements in intelligence, but neuroscientists have shown that willpower can be trained. It is a muscle that will develop through use. Brains do well what they do often. The more willpower you use, the more you develop and the more productive you will be. People’s perception of their willpower influences how strong willed they are – it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is only so much willpower any of us can expend over a given time period before it gets depleted. Focusing on first things first, in other words having one significant resolution, is more effective than scattered focus on numerous smaller objectives which will dilute your willpower. Don’t take on too much at once and get some down-time.